Wendi Schuller

Dating Again After a Break Up or Divorce

Consider letting the ink dry first on your divorce decree before jumping into the dating scene. Some guys start dating during divorce and bring old issues into new relationships. Take a breather after your divorce to make sure you are truly over it and ready to move forward. Your ex-wife may be the devil’s love child and you have every right to complain. New dates do not want to hear about her and that is a big turn off. Instead, tell your buddies over a pint about your lucky escape from Hell.

Let people know you are ready to start dating again. They may have a cute cousin to set you up with or do a double date. Going to parties is a great way to meet many women at once and see whom you like. You are relaxed and having fun with others, which makes it easier to approach someone interesting. I know a few couples who met at these gatherings and later got married.

Get involved with networking and joining professional groups at work. Not only do you boost your career, but you expand your connections and get to know fascinating people. Several doctors and lawyers met each other at professional functions and got married. Going to networking luncheons is another way to enlarge your circle of friends. It can be enjoyable to go out with co-workers after work for Happy Hour. Sparks may fly when getting to know them on a more personal level. Several marriages were the result of this at a large hospital where I used to work.

There are many online dating sites. Some vet their potential clients by doing background checks and interviews. With others you have to hope people’s profiles are accurate and their photos are from this decade. This also means you cannot use the photo where you had hair and a trim waistline, if that is no longer the case. Have a friend look over your profile to make sure it is enticing and not a bunch of fiction, as you want to meet someone who shares your interests. Speed dating is becoming more popular as a quick method to meet many at one go. There is a specified amount of time that you talk to each woman. Then after the event you turn in a sheet to the organization saying whom you would like to date. If there are matches, then you and the women are notified of them. There is no rejection on the spot which takes the pressure off you.

Sometimes after a heartbreak it can be difficult to begin dating again. There is no timetable when to start, so do not let friends try and push you into it. If they keep asking about your dates, tell them you will let them know if you become serious about anyone (even if you are not actively dating). There are ways to enjoy female companionship when not ready to date. Volunteer for a charity or cause which ignites your passion. Although several divorced people were not intending to remarry, they did after becoming friends with someone in their animal rescue group. Others joined photography, hiking and other groups and met some great members (platonically and otherwise).

Some people have gone to a movie, play or concert on first dates so they could start to feel more comfortable without having to make a lot of conversation when nervous. The event itself generates things to discuss. Others have found that hiking, walking or being out in nature is relaxing. If feeling stuck or awkward on dates, seeing a dating coach is an option. They can help you come up with strategies for either meeting women or having them want more dates.

My article was originally published in  Men’s Divorce   We believe everyone deserves equal treatment in family law, so we strive to educate men on how to protect themselves before, during and after divorce.  https://mensdivorce.com/?s=wendi+schuller

Reasons to Consider Entering into a Prenuptial Agreement

Reasons to consider entering into a prenuptial agreement 

Prenuptial agreements, often known as prenups, are not (yet) legally binding in the UK, but they are legally relevant. Based on a 2010 ruling, divorce courts will accept prenups as valid, provided that both parties entered them willingly and understood their implications, unless there is a particular reason why it would be unreasonable to enforce them in any particular situation. As the prenup is between the two individuals entering a marriage/civil partnership, it is entirely distinct from the obligation to support any children arising from the union.

 

Prenups have moved out of the celebrity world and into the mainstream

Celebrity prenups (or the lack thereof) have long been fodder for the gossip columns but over recent years they have moved into the world the rest of us live in. While they are commonly associated with situations in which couples have widely different financial values, they can also be used to draw lines in the sand in other situations, for example to highlight anything one of the parties considers a personal possession which they would like to keep in the event of a divorce/dissolution. Setting this out up front can be easier than trying to reach an agreement in the potentially heated atmosphere of a couple parting ways.

 

Realistically, failure is an option

Around one third of marriages end in divorce, which means that even though the odds of success are still on your side, the odds of failure are high enough to deserve to be taken seriously. Even though the UK has yet to implement the concept of “no faults divorce” in the real world, divorce/dissolution can come about for reasons which have nothing to do with fault.

People make mistakes and sometimes couples can agree amicably that their marriage was one of them and move on in a respectful manner. This is particularly beneficial if the split comes after the arrival of children.

 

Mediation and legal advice are the road to success

In principle, mediation can take place before or after a legal agreement has been drawn up. In practice, it probably helps to have it first and keep open the option of further mediation afterwards if need be. Mediation is simply a process by which couples have a full and open discussion of their situation and expectations, which is facilitated by a mediator.

The mediator’s role is to keep the discussion on topic and to help both parties to express themselves and to learn to understand each other’s views until finally they reach a place of agreement, which the mediator then converts into a memo of understanding, which can then be given to the solicitors acting for the respective individuals.

This makes it easier for the solicitor drawing up the prenup to create a document which accurately reflects their client’s wishes and for the solicitor acting on behalf of the other party to analyse the agreement and ensure that it is appropriate for their client. While prenups are like insurance in the sense that they are a product you buy in the hope that you are never going to use them, just like insurance, it can be very helpful to know that you are covered if the need arises.

Fletcher Day are a full service law firm based in Mayfair, London. There team of family law solicitors in London can advise on a range of matters relating to family law including divorce, prenuptial agreements, civil partnerships and separation agreements.

 

 

Travelling with Children Post-Divorce as a Single Parent

Travelling with children as a single parent can be challenging, however there are tricks to making it go smoother. If being used to having another adult helping out (your former spouse), consider enlisting a replacement. My mother was the “granny nanny” and accompanied my two sons and I on many of our global adventures. She escorted a tired child back to the ship or watched the boys play in a park while I hit a few shops.

Select destinations according to the ages of the children. Wee ones enjoy playing in the sand and staying put in one place. A condo at a beach or cabin at a lake fills this need nicely. Older ones crave adventure or exploring ruins like Indiana Jones. Think about a place that would be enjoyable for every family member. For example, many families where I reside, go to Costa Rica. One can take a leisurely stroll in the rainforest with a toddler, or have teens zip-lining through it. There are beaches for relaxing and museums for culture. Amusement parks, such as Disneyland, satisfies kids of all ages. See what travel deals you can get to make trips more affordable.

Several divorced parents advise going to all-inclusive resorts. The youngsters partake in fun sports or classes which enables mom or dad to have some free time. It is one price for food, lodging and many of the offered activities. My friend liked to take her two sons to a Club Med, some which have circus classes for children. While her boys were dangling from ropes or on the trapeze, she was sipping a rum cocktail on the beach.

There are various travel companies which offer special tours for families. One has safaris to Africa where the youngsters meet with a chief to learn about tribal life. The single parents can be at the spa or working out during these few kids only events. There are plenty of experiences that are shared with the children. Not being hands on 24/7 gives the solo parent a much needed break.

After my divorce, we tended to go on ocean or river cruises. We took advantage of sales and 2 for the price of 1 offers. I did not have surprises with costs and selected trips that fit my budget. I liked unpacking only once and not waking up cranky boys to catch trains or busses. We sailed at night and merely walked off the ship to a new destination each morning.     Please read more   http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/travelling-with-children-post-divorce