Social Media Can Have An Impact On Divorce

Be careful what you post on social media and other online sites during divorce and beyond. Your solicitor may have given you some guidelines, but mistakes can cost you in shared time with your children. One man in a small town had posted on a dating site, that he was single and without children. The fact that he was married with two sons seemed to have alluded him. A single family friend spotted it and told the wife once she had initiated the divorce. The wife asked for a copy and then handed them out to her solicitor, the sons’ new therapist and the custody evaluator. The father ended up with limited visitation and no overnights. Stay off dating sites until the divorce is finalized.

It is not fair for children to have their parents battle each other in such a public arena through social media. When older offspring have access to their parents’ social media sites, it is upsetting to read nasty remarks. If you are the spouse who is the recipient of online vitriol, do not go out for revenge. Let your attorney deal with it in your proceedings. Think about how your child would feel, before posting anything which could be controversial.

You may be selective of what goes on your social media sites, but that does not ensure that friends do too. They may be posting party pics from the hen party or birthday bashes. Looking like the party girl or a drunk in the pub is not going to help one seem like a responsible parent when making shared care arrangements. Keep in mind that friends may not have strict privacy settings or may share intimate details with their pals, who do not. Put on your site, or allow friends to post, only what would be okay for your family to view. You do not want a spiteful ex to get ammunition from social media sites to use against you.  Stay off your former spouse’s social media sites. Do you want to see photos of your ex and new partner on their world cruise? If you have a family member that sided with your ex, do you want to read her loving comments to him? No. It is not therapeutic to be keeping up with what he is doing on Facebook and makes it more challenging to move on. If something important happens, someone will inform you. A friend’s husband in a charity organization with my ex thought he heard that he had gotten remarried. This husband checked my ex’s Facebook and then confirmed it. I was happy about this, hoping it would take his focus off me. Get your ex out of your mind and make room in your life for new people.

Please read more   https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-social-media-can-affect-divorce-proceedings/

 

Self-Care While Going Through a Divorce

divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483The latest figures show that global divorce rates continue to be on the rise. Across Europe and the United States, average divorce rates range between 42%-65%. No matter how amicable the split may be, there are many stressful steps to a divorce. It is not uncommon for the process to cause feelings of anxiety and depression. This is especially true if an individual is not looking out for his or her wellbeing in the steps leading up to the divorce being granted.

If you are going through or will be going through a divorce, self-care is of top-importance. While some may consider the term “self-care” to refer to luxury and pampering, it simply refers to the practice of taking care of one’s self. Explore three must-do self-care strategies for individuals who are going through a divorce.

Ensure that you are getting plenty of sleep

Never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest, especially during stressful times. In addition to feeling drowsy and tired throughout your day, a lack of sleep can have many other consequences. Over the long-term, it can put you at risk for “high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.” In addition to these serious risks, sleep deprivation can impair your ability to think clearly, dulls the skin, causes mood swings, and can cause you to gain weight. To avoid these health challenges, experts recommend that you get between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. If you are not able to realistically achieve this, work toward getting proper rest on as many nights as you can, especially during the most stressful parts of the divorce.

Regularly schedule time to practice a hobby

Since many of your days can be focused on signing papers, court hearings, and various disputes, it is crucial to have a healthy hobby to take your mind off of things. Whether you enjoy reading, crafts, baking, drawing, or journaling, choose one or more hobbies in which you can distract yourself from time to time. Hobbies have been shown to help individuals relieve stress, increase mindfulness, promote overall physical health, deliver new and fun experiences, and boost self-confidence. To ensure that you are taking advantage of these benefits, schedule at least a few hours in each week to practice your favorite hobby/hobbies.

Don’t skip regular exercise

Even when an individual isn’t going through stressful times, exercise is a key component of one’s health. Physical activity of all kinds offers loads of benefits, including a boost to your mood, maintenance of a healthy weight, enhanced energy levels, improved cognitive function, lowered risk of chronic illness, and improved sleep quality. As you can imagine, these benefits are even more valuable while going through the stress of a divorce. At minimum, plan to practice your favorite form of exercise for 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Both low-impact activities (e.g. walking, yoga) and high-intensity workouts will deliver much of the same benefits.

For nearly every person who goes through the process, divorce marks a stressful time in one’s life. To reduce the impact of the associated stressors, practicing self-care is an absolute must. By ensuring that you are getting proper sleep, choosing to regularly engage in a favorite hobby, and getting routine exercise, you can fight off the negative effects of any stress you experience.

Author of this article, Lucy Davis,  runs  The Divorce Club  www.divorceclub.com     an online support network for people going through divorce and separation.   There are fun events scheduled (check their web site).  Wendi’s Note: The Divorce Club in London is a great way to meet others who are going through similar experiences. Wisdom and laughter are shared at Lucy’s get-togethers through this MeetUp.com group.

Letting Go Of The Past After Divorce Or Break Up

It can be hard to let go of the past when married life is over. Focusing on what was instead of what is, hinders an individual from moving on post-divorce. Divorce may come as a shock and fixating on what used to be, gets in the way of taking action now. Some people interviewed, kept dreaming about the past, as the present was too painful. Yet others felt if they denied what was happening (a spouse leaving), things would go back to what they were.

One sign that a person is hanging on to an ex-spouse and not letting go, is by talking endlessly about them. An acquaintance went on and on about her former husband until somebody else changed the subject. She did not date, but instead wallowed in that relationship which she failed to leave behind post-divorce. There were no children and it was a clean break.

I occasionally run into her former husband who has never brought up his ex and was able to move on in life. He is happily remarried and is a proud step-father. It is a choice whether to stay mentally attached to a former partner or face the cold truth of reality that the other person is not coming back.

Part of getting beyond reliving the past is that the void has to be filled. When an old life and marital relationship ends – something has to fill this gaping hole. This was the problem with my acquaintance. She did not try to meet people, take a class or pursue new endeavours. The void remained.

A first step to moving on, is replacing the loss of people and things with new adventures, activities, and friends. Expand your social circle by joining a special interest group or renewing friendships that may have fallen by the wayside when married. I joined travel and book clubs. Other divorced pals are in film and hiking ones. There are many studies globally that show the health benefits of being connected to others.

A new job during the early phase of my divorce proceedings, was mentally stimulating. There was less time to think about my losses. Others have taken courses or changed career paths after a divorce. Take up a sport for a physical challenge. The goal is to keep mentally and physically active to fill the void and find life more fulfilling. When one’s agenda is crammed full of events, and pleasurable pursuits, looking ahead instead of behind is easier.

Please read more   https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-after-divorce/